I Sent My Husband A Nude from the Night I Cheated. Now I Feel Guilty

Dear Saynt,

A few months ago, I sent my husband a photo of myself. I was topless, arching just right in the bathroom mirror, wrapped in nothing but a towel. It wasn’t planned. I just felt sexy and wanted to give him something to smile about.

He loved it. Saved it. Still talks about how hot it is. Says it’s his favorite picture of me.

What I haven’t told him: the photo wasn’t originally for him.

I took it the day after a brief — and, yes, very physical — encounter with someone else. It wasn’t a full on affair, more like a one-night what-the-fuck moment that I instantly regretted. I never intended to send him that photo, but later, when I was scrolling, I chose it. Mainly cause it looked good.

Now it’s this thing he adores, and every time he brings it up, I get this fealing of guilt. I haven’t cheated since. I’m committed and we’re planning to have a child soon. But the fact remains: his favorite picture of me comes from a moment I’d rather erase.

Do I tell him? Or let this secret stay buried with the rest of that night?

— Posing in Shame

Dear Posing,

You sent your man a thirst trap for someone else and now it’s his lockscreen?

That’s not a secret, that’s a live grenade in lingerie.

Let’s be blunt: this isn’t about a selfie. This is about a lie with really good lighting. You cheated. Then you served him the receipts, cropped, filtered, and served with love emojis. And now he’s cherishing a moment you stole from him.

You want to know if you should tell him? Let’s reframe the question: Do you want to rebuild trust or keep playing house on a foundation of sand?

Because, every time he praises that photo, he’s unknowingly worshipping a version of you that didn’t exist that day. And that’s what’s killing you — not the pic, but the performance.

Now, if you’re just trying to clear your conscience with zero regard for the bomb you’re about to drop, don’t bother. But if you want to own your mess, hold space for the hurt, and maybe find your way back to something real, then yes. Tell him. And prepare to sit in the fire you lit.

You say you’ve recommitted. Good. But recommitment isn’t just “not cheating again.” It’s showing up with radical honesty. It’s burning down the illusion and asking, Can we rebuild something that’s actually true?

So either bury it, lie with it, and keep pretending…

Or tell him, and face what love really costs when it’s been bought on credit.

The mirror’s still yours. But the man? He deserves the full reflection.

— Saynt

Serving Judgment in Full Resolution