I Hibernate for Two Days After Sex, Even When It’s Not Vigorous. Now I Don’t Want to Have Sex. Help.
Dear Saynt,
I never thought I’d write one of these, but here we are.
I’m in my early 40s, in decent health, happily partnered, and still very much interested in sex. The problem? Sex wipes me out. Like, full-blown "cancel your plans, call in sick, wear compression socks to the grocery store" kind of wiped out.
It’s not even wild or marathon-level sex. Sometimes it’s a quick, passionate session — nothing Olympic — and yet afterward, I feel like I’ve run a triathlon through molasses. My body aches, my legs are weak, and I crash hard. Not just for the night, but for the next two days. I need to nap, hydrate like I’ve been lost in the desert, and basically hybernate until I can function again.
It’s gotten to the point where I actually weigh whether the sex is worth the recovery period. And that’s a miserable calculus to be doing when you love your partner and want to stay connected. I’ve tried vitamins, better sleep, working out more, but nothing seems to change the aftermath.
Is this normal? Is my body trying to tell me something? Or is this just how aging hits some of us — with good orgasms and immediate orthopedic consequences?
Please help. I miss spontaneous sex. I miss feeling sexy and alive the next day.
— Knocked Out by Knockin’ Boots aka Sleeping Booty
Dear Knocked Out by Knockin’ Boots,
You are not alone — and you’re certainly not broken. What you are is human, and your body is clearly trying to get your attention. Let’s get into it.
First, yes, some post-sex fatigue can be totally normal. Sex is a full-body experience — emotionally, hormonally, and physically. But two days of recovery? That’s a bit beyond the typical “good nap and electrolytes” level.
I’m gonna say what your doctor probably won’t: This ain’t just “getting older.” This is “your body is waving a flaming red flag and screaming from the sidelines.”
Let’s not romanticize this: You’re not having sex, you’re having ritualistic energy exorcisms. If two pumps and a moan turn you into a wilting Victorian widow confined to the fainting couch, something much deeper could be going on. And I’m not talking about “taking more vitamin D” — I mean get your blood work, hormone levels, and maybe even your heart checked out like yesterday.
Here are a few possibilities worth exploring:
Cardiovascular or metabolic issues: Fatigue that lingers like this could point to something medical, especially if it feels like a full-system crash.
Hormonal imbalances (like low testosterone or thyroid issues): These can sneak up and quietly wreak havoc on energy levels.
Sleep disorders, anxiety, or even depression: These can show up in sneaky ways — like your body overreacting to physical exertion and crashing.
You’ve already tried lifestyle changes, which is a great start. Now it’s time for a full workup. Talk to a doctor who will actually listen (ideally one who gets that sexual health is real health).
Meanwhile, talk to your partner. Let them into this experience with you. This isn’t about avoiding intimacy — it’s about protecting it. Maybe there’s room to experiment with types of touch that are less draining, or pacing things in a way that leaves you connected, not collapsed.
And as for “who has time for this?” — you’re right. Nobody has time to be sexy and sidelined. So here’s the real truth: you either listen to your body now, or it’s gonna start sending louder, scarier messages later. If your engine stalls after a joyride, you head to the mechanic. Same rules apply here.
You deserve a sex life that nourishes you — not one that sends you into exile after every orgasm. Let’s find out what your body’s trying to say, so you can stop fearing the fallout and start looking forward to the fun again.
Stay up,
Saynt - Your Body’s Not Broken — It’s Just Sending a Memo
