Now you can Have Sex With Your Favorite Aquatic Creature
Guillermo del Toro’s latest fantastical fable The Shape of Water features a mute woman falling in love with “an amphibian-based lifeform that’s part merman, part Creature from the Black Lagoon.” In order to make the creature more lovable, del Toro had the creature’s designers give it “big, expressive doe eyes, ‘kissable’ lips, a strong jaw and cleft chin [and] … a nice butt,” which naturally made some people wonder: What about the creature’s penis? Well, now there’s a Shape of Water dildo to answer that particular question.
A Tumblr user named XenoCatArtifacts created a Shape of Water dildocalled the “Jewel of the Amazon” — it’s silicon; glows in the dark; looks like two large, melted crayons; and has wavy ridges in it. While it doesn’t look like the open-close French doors hand gesture that the mute lady makes in the film when asked about fish-man sex, but oh well — mermen are mysterious and maybe they have secret wavy penises that defy mere hand gestures.
XenoCatArtifacts sold out of its initial run of fish dicks but the store promises to manufacture at least 20 more in time for the 2018 Oscars so we can all celebrate The Shape of Water’s 13 Academy Award nominations.
And if you like The Shape of Water dildo …
Granted, the “Jewel of the Amazon” is hardly the first sex toy to be inspired by science-fiction. One store called Geeky Sex Toys has released Pokémoan dildos and buttplugs, an Orgasms of the Galaxy line based on Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxyand a Dick and Horny line based on the animated sci-fi series Rick and Morty.