Man Robs Bank with Sex Toy

Bank robberies are never funny. Except when they are conducted using a a sex toy. Then they’re sort of funny, but still very distressing and you shouldn’t really make jokes about them.

But anyway, Aaron Stein, 35, of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania just robbed a bank with a silicon penis strapped to a cellphone with some black tape. He claimed he would detonate the device if anyone attempting to arrest him or thwart his attempts to make off with mountains of cash. Terrified by his false cock staff handed over an “undisclosed” amount of dollar and Stein made off waving his sex toy triumphantly over above his head in a Toyota.

He was eventually apprehended by cops, who forced him to pull over, arrested him and destroyed his love machine in a controlled explosion at the side of the motorway – obvs you can’t be too careful when someone claims their dick might explode. Stein now faces a preliminary hearing at a court in Allegheny on June 25th.