Interview with Dan Bilzerian, Instagram's Biggest Playboy, on Stylish Guns, $800,000 Watches and Wearing a Woman's Thong for 24 Hours
The latest star to rise from the anonymity of the Internet based on his absurd IRL exploits that don't seem possible is Dan Bilzerian, a professional poker player who spends money like, in his own words, "a 16-year-old who's got a blank check." The bearded Bilzerian H.A.M.s out hard, and documents his life's most ridiculous moments on Instagram so people can seethe with rage, envy, inspiration, or all of the above.
However, no matter which way you lean on the love/hate divide, it is absolutely undeniable to see that Bilzerian doesn't give a modicum of a fuck, which is the basis for any stylish guy's mindset (in moderation). So, just to figure out what makes this dude tick, we hopped on the phone with D-Bilz and chopped it up about everything from body grooming to that time he had to wear a woman's thong for a full day.
First thing I want to ask you about is your beard. When did you first grow it? What is the maintenance routine like on it? And how long does it take you to grow it back after shaving it off?
I grew it about five years ago. The maintenance on it? Pretty self-maintained, I don’t do much. Just trim it. A guy offered me $100,000 to shave it, and I said no. And then I got this movie part where I had to shave it for free, which was kinda brutal. It took about a full week to grow back.
Why’d you decide to grow it five years ago?
I hated shaving, it was more like a maintenance thing. I always had the 5 o’ clock shadow. The thing that sucked the most about being in the military was shaving twice a day, because by noon I’d have a full five o’ clock shadow. It was just a big pain in the ass, especially when you’re only getting four hours of sleep.
What benefits in life does having such a glorious beard afford you?
[Laughs] Well, this beard is my black tie, so I don’t have to dress up for events. It’s good for snowmobiling ‘cause I don’t have to wear a face mask.
Do girls like it?
You know, it’s love/hate. Some chicks like it. I actually had a lot of chicks, when I grew it, tell me that they’d fuck me if I shaved my beard. I actually had like nine chicks tell me that. I haven’t heard any bad things. I’ve had it for so long, you don’t really hear both sides.
"I got functional guns, I got guns for looks, I got hunting rifles,
and everything in between."
In your Instagram, there’s a photo of you and your buddy with laser hair removal devices…
Oh yeah, that’s my brother. Yeah I own a machine. I actually just did it last night.
What is that? Can you explain real quick?
It’s a full laser hair removal machine. I actually have one that does photo facials and all that shit too but I just do the hair removal aspect of it. I basically do waist
up to beard.
Cool. So can guns be stylish accessories?
[Laughs] Yeah, I mean if they’re legal in your state, for sure.
You have a few though that look like they were customized, just the aesthetics.
Yeah, I just got one back, actually. I got it fully engraved, it’s pretty cool. It’s an Heirloom Precision so it started off as a really badass gun and then I got it all engraved out. Yeah I got all sorts of guns. I got functional guns, I got guns for looks, I got hunting rifles,
and everything in between.
What about your watch collection? How big is it?
I got a lot of watches.
More watches than guns?
Definitely more guns. I got over 100 guns. If I had 100 watches, I mean my cheapest watch is $40,000.
What’s the most expensive watch you have?
800 [thousand dollars]. It’s a Richard Mille.
Do you have a favorite?
I just got a new Audemar concept Tourbillon that’s pretty cool. But you know, I get bored of watches pretty easily, so I just rotate them out. I guess whatever I got most recently is probably my favorite. For a few weeks, anyway.
"I’ve never seen a chick fuck a guy ‘cause of his clothes."
You have a few indulgences, but not necessarily expensive clothing.
I mean I have expensive clothing, I just don’t wear it.
Do you think it’s a waste of money?
Nah, I mean I spent the money on it. I got a $40,000 Tom Ford suit and everything else, but I wear what’s comfortable.
The thing you wear the most, it looks like, is a black T-shirt and camo cargo pants and boots.
That’s pretty much it.
Is there an advantage to having this sort of personal uniform?
I’m a creature of habit. I just kinda wear what’s comfortable, and I go through phases. There was a period where I was wearing MMA shorts a lot ‘cause I was doing two-a-day sessions. In the summertime I’ll just wear cargo shorts. I don’t know. I’ve been wearing pants a lot, recently. Some guys, they put together a whole thing on their Instagrams, like “Today’s look,” and take the picture of their little outfits of what they’re gonna wear and fall into that shit. But I don’t know, I think it’s kinda lame.
You do have some ridiculous items of clothing, like the gold banana hammock and shit like that. What’s the most ridiculous item of clothing you own?
[Laughs] Believe it or not, I brought all my wardrobe for that character to the set of a film except for that gold banana hammock. Not that it’s too crazy for me to own because I do have some crazy shit. But yeah, that one was actually given to me by wardrobe on set. But I don’t know. Fuck, I think one year I went to the Playboy Mansion wearing a thong and a cape from 300. I’ve been known to wear some pretty crazy outfits from time to time.
One time I lost a bet and I had to wear a chick’s thong on a party cruise for 24 hours straight. [Laughs] That was interesting. I was pretty crazy in college. I remember I took our pledge class for a run and everybody had to wear just jock straps and thongs or whatever. I was almost thrown off campus for that one.
Was the thong comfortable?
Well my dick was hanging out more often than it was in it, but uh, it did get me laid, so…
You like to say that money gets you freedom. Would you say that you dress like a free man?
Yeah, I mean at the end of the day I’m not really that worried. A lot of people wear clothes trying to impress chicks, and I’m gettin’ chicks anyways. Or they’ll want to appear rich when they’re going to meetings or whatever, and I don’t have to do any of that. I just wear whatever’s comfortable.
Do you have any thoughts on dudes that wear camo who aren’t doing the things that it was originally created for—whether that’s being in the army, hunting, and all that?
You mean like hipsters who wear fuckin’ skinny jeans that are camo? I think that’s pretty lame. I wear it ‘cause it’s comfortable, it’s functional, it’s got cargo pockets for carrying all my shit, and it just happens to be camo. It’s not really like a statement or anything. I guess that I wear it so much, everyone thinks that it’s a thing. But I just wear the same T-shirt and no one mentions that.
"Guys are attracted based on looks 95% of the time. Girls are almost the opposite."
For guys that don’t have the ability to ball out like you do, and do put significance on how they look and their clothing, what’s your advice to them if they are trying to get on your level?
I’ve never seen a chick fuck a guy ‘cause of his clothes. They just gotta work on their game. I’ve never seen a girl be like, “Oh damn, that guy’s so well-dressed. Let me fuck him.” I’ve seen it happen with humor, or money, or being in good shape, or whatever it is. I guess maybe it could happen at a fashion show or something…
Just be confident, successful, funny, whatever it is, girls aren’t necessarily attracted like guys are. Guys are attracted based on looks 95% of the time. Girls are almost the opposite. Looks are a smaller factor. They’re more attracted to a confident guy, or a successful guy, or someone who makes them laugh, or makes them feel comfortable. I got just as much ass in college as I do now, and I didn’t have much money then. I just had to work a little harder.
Do you care about how the women in your life dress or how she presents herself?
I care about how they look for sure. But I’d take a chick who goes to the gym all the time and has a good body over a chick who covers it up well with good clothes. My feeling is, if they look good in a minimal amount of clothes, good. But any chick can look good in the winter, with a bunch of fuckin’ fashionable clothes on. You know what I’m saying? It’s like, make a bathing suit look good, that’s my thing.